Half Empty, Half Full

Have you ever wonder how you took the half of my life?
Ever since you painted my body and mind
With different shades and tints of joy
Taught me the values of sadness
Extinguished the fire of hatred
And buried my fear and loathing.
Have you ever wonder what makes me whole?
When everything I do is the half of every you?
The lingering feelings are still embracing my soul
And shackled me with fountain of emotions
As if everything is inevitable.
How can I fill my body and soul?
With water as pure as yours
Dripping through the fresh lilies
Shining in each corner of sunflowers
Bearing the scent of a sandalwood
All etched in my skin
And bleeding deep into my bones.
If only I have foreseen the pain of recognition
Never dress it as bliss and satisfaction
And confuse it with comforting sympathy and illusion.
I who was empty before the moment I saw you
And you who was whole
Selflessly offered the half of your soul
To me who’s longing for affection and all
Filled my glass with lust and greed of attention.
Hence, I have been walking
With shattered heart and emotions
Because I covet too much of your mind
So now I’m cursed with unfathomable truth.
You left with only the half
But never have given a chance to make me full
As if you deserted me so I can look for you
Again and again and again
Repeatedly like an endless cycle
Aimlessly running wild in point of no return.

Unfamiliarity

I’ve been hearing an unfamiliar voice.

A tone that sweetly calls out my name

When I’m in dark;

When I’m in silence;

When I’m alone.

I’ve been smelling an unfamiliar scent.

One that heals a soul;

An aroma that lingers through my body;

When I’m asleep;

Whenever I’m around.

I’ve been savoring an unfamiliar taste.

A bite that lasts in my mouth;

The sweet and tangy flavor;

That rightly blends between the bitterness;

And the sourness of my soul.

This unfamiliar touch slowly becomes familiar.

It makes me crave;

It keeps me warm.

It makes me want to hear more

Of the things I am not sure about.

The foreign feeling becomes domestic.

I wonder why;

I wonder how;

I wonder when did it grow this much.

From the shortest time;

To the longest hours.

The joy in every hope;

While pain in every betrayal;

Should I give in?

Should I risk it out?

There is an unfathomable truth in every questions.

In every amusement

I feel anxious and frightened.

Should I hear it out?

Or should I just play deaf?

I’ve been hearing voices, smelling scents and savoring moments.

But most of all,

I’ve been loving this new sensation.

In an unfamiliar room I became someone else.

So, if I’m lost, please send me back

To the place where I feel numb and emotionless.

The feeling of loneliness;

The feeling of emptiness;

Let me save myself from shattering into pieces.